Shhh!

Marching Band apparently taken up residence in my head?  Check.

Hot and cold sweats?  Check.

Me laying on the sofa, moaning slightly with both self inflicted pain and flashbacks from last night?  Check.

Blister on one foot following the inevitable 3 mile drunken walk home as a taxi can’t be summoned for love nor money?  Check.

Then it must be New Years Day and I have the traditional New Years Day hangover from hell!  It was worth it though.

I hope you all had a good one whatever you got up to.

Happy New Year everyone! 

Christmas Conundrum

How many adults does it take to put together a toy for an 18 month old?

More than 4 apparently!  The addition of an 8 year old doesn’t appear to help either.

In true Christmas tradition style, there was a toy that baffled the grown ups and refused to be put together.  This year it was my fault.  I had bought Little Person (Mini Adult’s sister) a drum kit!  Now, in my defense, Mini Adult’s parents had bought her an electric guitar and amp, so as far as I was concerned fair’s fair.  Plus it was only a small one.  However, it beat us all and the four grown ups just couldn’t put it together.  This didn’t seem to bother Little Person though, when I left she was making good use of it!

She may only be 18 months but she’s already able to beat out a rhythm.  We’re obviously heading for a family band.  Mini Adult has always been a bit of a rock chick and seeing her with her guitar (she can already play) just proved where her future lies!

After doing the family thing for a few hours, I headed over to Best Friend’s house where I had been invited to spend the day.  As her parents were also there, I was on my best behaviour and managed to get through a whole day without making an idiot of myself or saying something I really shouldn’t.  Something of a record!!  It was a fantastic day.

I was also lucky that I didn’t get the traditional dodgy Christmas jumper.  I did get a Fondue set though.  I got some lovely presents and am now surrounded by chocolate and books.

Oh, and a Tiffany’s necklace.

Yep.  Go back and read that line again…

Best Friend gave me a Tiffany’s necklace (Sorry, I know I’m showing off.  I can’t help it.  It’s a necklace from Tiffany’s!!)

I knew she’d got something big planned but I’d never thought it would be something like this.  It was one of those once in a lifetime, heart stopping, shit I’ve forgotten how to breathe moments.  There were tears, there was girly squealing (all very odd, I can’t remember the last time I did a girly squeal!), there were hugs and lots of “I love you”‘s.  Best Friend’s Bloke and her Dad sat there looking very confused with a clear look of “It’s just a necklace” on their faces.

Anyway, a couple of pictures.  Sorry about the quality, they’re taken with the phone on my camera and for the life of me, I can’t get them to rotate!

So.  This is the necklace.  It’s 3 rounded silver cubes, each connected with a link.  It’s very simple but so beautiful.

This is all the stuff it came in, the bag, the box and a little suede pouch to keep it safe.  I didn’t even know it came in a little suede pouch!

Even now, a few days later, I randomly let out a little squeal.  But I think it’s allowed with something like this! 

I hope you’re all having a good time this Christmas and if I don’t speak to you before then here’s to 2008.  Have a good one!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!

I’m posting this now as I’m likely to be off line for the next couple of days. 

I’m spending Christmas Day with Best Friend and her family, after visiting my aunt and cousins for a couple of hours in the morning.  I’ll be meeting Best Friend’s parents, which I’m a little nervous about as I don’t have a good track record with friend’s parents.  But it will be a lovely day and I’m looking forward to it, even with the threat of karoke!!

Boxing Day will be spent with my aunt and another of my cousins.  I’ll be on-call for work, so it will be a quieter day than Christmas Day, but still lovely.

I hope you all have a brilliant time and get to spend it with the people you love.

Love to you all,

Alcoment xx

Something strange is happening!

I appear to have been infected with the Christmas spirit (no, not the vodka kind!).  Normally, I’m quite cynical about the whole thing and end up getting stressed and grumpy, trying to get everything done in time.

Today though, it was all quite odd.  Though I have been known to get a little sentimental when I’ve heard a brass band playing carols, that isn’t my normal reaction.  Today, I found myself singing along to the Christmas songs playing in the shops, enjoying – yep, that’s right – enjoying doing my present shopping and wishing random strangers a Merry Christmas, rather than fighting them for the last Terry’s Chocolate Orange on the shelf!

I’ve also spent some time this evening wrapping some presents, feeling all Christmassy with candles lit and a glass of brandy!

What concerns me more though is that I willingly caught two buses today (I’m normally very much a taxi girl) and happily chatted to some random kid at the bus stop!  As most of you know, my usual reaction to children (apart from very specific ones) is to feel the fear and run away screaming!

So, am I ill?  Do I need to go the doctor?  Or am I just getting soft in my old age?  Answers on a postcard (or email) please!

Oh, and I also wanted to publicly apologise to Stealth for my Facebook flirtations. Those of you who read her comments to my last post will know that she hasn’t taken it well.  As my punishment, I have accepted a Meme tag but I will apologise anyway.  Stealth, it didn’t mean anything, I just got carried away in the moment, it was the drink, Facebook made me…

Infidelity and tights.

Apologies for the absence everyone, sometimes life just gets in the way.  I also have to confess that I have been rather unfaithful.  I’ve ended up on Facebook (Thanks Student Nutty Nurse!) and seem to be temporarily addicted to wasting time taking stupid quizzes!  I shall try my best to be a better blogger!

Last week was the beginning of the Christmas party merry-go-round, with both work parties (the client meal and the staff party) happening within a couple of days of each other.  True to form, I was not able to be in public without making an idiot of myself at least once.

The client meal was going well, people were eating and chatting, everyone was happy.  Little did I know that I was about to provide the entertainment!

I’d had quite a bad cold and, though I was better, had been left with blocked ears.  The sensation was driving me mad and I decided to try unblocking them again.  You know the one, hold your nose and blow as hard as you can.

I sat there, blowing, when all of a sudden something unblocked.  But not my ears.  Yep, I had just sat there and done an incredibly loud fart!  My natural response was to collapse in hysterical laughter, surrounded by my clients and colleagues just looking on with bemusement.

The staff Christmas meal was fun and it was my skirt’s first outing – it seemed to go down well.  I’d forgotten what a problem tights could be though.

As I haven’t worn a skirt in years, obviously I haven’t worn tights either.  Getting them on in the first place was interesting and only achieved with a considerable amount of swearing and threatening them with the bin.  Having got them on, I was reluctant to repeat the experience and decided to only go to the loo when it became a desperate situation.

I managed a few hours, but obviously nature (and a considerable amount of alcohol) eventually called.  By this time, we had done the restaurant and the pub and were all back at the bosses house.

Having dealt with the matter in hand, it was time to do battle again with the tights.  They had been difficult in the first place but add in a few vodka and cokes and then it becomes more like Mission Impossible. 

All was going relatively well until, on the final tug, I lost my balance and slowly toppled sideways.  Ending up sitting on their bathroom floor, again laughing hysterically, I could only be glad that no one had been around to witness it.  I think it’s back to stockings for me!

Travelling back in time.

As I don’t seem to have anything to say tonight, I thought I would get on with this Meme that I was tagged for by Emmy.  I have to write a letter into the past, to the 13 year old me!  This could be interesting!

So, the rules are:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.

2. Imagine you could send a letter back in time to yourself, when you were 13 years old.  What would you write?

3. Tag 5 other people to do this.

So, we’ll give this a go.

Dear Mini Alcoment

Don’t freak out.  I’m you, just the sort of grown up version!  This is as weird for me as it is you.  I think I’m meant to give you pearls of wisdom on what’s going to come up for you.  I’m not going to.  I have a horrible feeling that if I do that, there will be some weird space / time thing that will happen and I will suddenly find myself living another life, having altered events.  As much as it is tempting to tell you what to do (or not do, more to the point!) I don’t really fancy waking up in the morning and finding I am now a Nun, living in some obscure place or work in some kind of office!

So, what can I tell you.  Some small, but important things I guess.

In a year or so, you may get a sudden urge to get your hair cut short.  For Gods sake, whatever you do, DON’T DO IT.  It will not suit you and the hassle of growing it out is really not worth it.  Trust me.  Been there, done that.  Oh, and if for some reason you do get it cut anyway (and you probably will, we’re not great with being told what to do!) there is little you can do to make it grow any faster, tugging your hair on a nightly basis will not work!

A lad called Darren will ask you out in a bit.  Don’t bother.  All that will happen is that you will have a strange night, made worse by the fact that he will eat your burger because he drops his on the floor!  And he will still expect you to pay for half of it!

There will be a new Star Wars film that will come out in a few years.  Your friends will try to make you go.  Just be warned that if you do, you will fall asleep within the first half hour, drop your popcorn on the floor and look like an idiot when the person sat behind you complains about your snoring!  I’m just warning you…

That’s it really. The rest you’ll have to figure out for yourself – I did and it turns out ok in the end though.

Take care.

A x

PS  You’re going to hate me for this, but I can’t resist.  You know that crap people keep telling you about how you’ll regret playing truant from school so much?  Guess what, they’re kind of right, so get your arse into school tomorrow…

That’s it I think.  No tags.  If you want it, feel free to grab it!

Nipples, Peeping Toms and the End of the World!

It’s Sunday, so it must be time for Sunday Supplement!

Let’s get cracking, shall we?

Residents near Swansea’s Christmas Ferris wheel have been successful in their bid for it to be moved.  They lodged complaints after it was discovered that the wheels passengers could see straight into their flat windows!  How’s that for a thrilling ride…

Apparently the surprise Internet Christmas shopping hit this year has been fridge magnets cast from human nipples.  Well, it’s a bit different from the dancing flowers that were all the rage a few years back!

Hungary have now brought out an employee specification for Santa.  Requirements reported are a height of at least 5 foot 7 inches, a deep voice and the necessary pass mark in a Santa exam.  Where’s the big belly and white beard?!

And finally, how’s this for interactive?  Worshippers at a local Brighton church were recently forced to flee the service as, during the vicar’s sermon on the end of the world, a huge lead pipe fell through the church roof.  Someone trying to make a point perhaps…

On a more positive note, my horoscopes have reliably informed me that I am about to go into an adventurous mood, that incredible things will happen and this Christmas will be unforgettable.  Hopefully for once, they will get this one right!

This made my week.

Yesterday, waking up after a pretty crappy week, I found this! 

Heather, over at The Wishful Writer, has kindly awarded me the ‘You make me smile’ award.

Heather, what can I say?  Thank you so much.  Your blog always makes me laugh and yesterday you certainly made me smile!  Quick, everyone go over to Heather’s.  You’re guaranteed a laugh.

Christmas, Chocolate and Cabbies.

So, here it is.  The first (or second depending if you count my other post along these lines!) installment of Sunday Supplement – the (fairly) regular round up of ‘news’ in the wonderful world of the Sunday papers.

So without further ado, let’s get on with it!

A cabbie in Cambridge has a novel way of entertaining his passengers.  He dons a fez and treats them to Tommy Cooper impressions.  This certainly beats the drivers I normally get, who seem to see me as someone to hold hostage whilst they inform me of their (usually) dubious and bigoted political views!

Here’s some thinking I can understand.  The 125 strong crew of HMS Endurance have stocked up with 40,000 bars of chocolate in case they get stranded on their mission to the Antarctic.  There is other food on board obviously, but they seemed more concerned about running out of chocolate, baked beans and pop!

The Health and Safety people are making their rounds again.  The organisers of Halesowen’s local Christmas parade have been told that Santa can only make an appearance if he agrees to wear a seat belt whilst driving his sleigh.  Next they’ll be wanting him to have airbags and decide that Rudolph’s nose isn’t the correct level of brightness!

However, maybe this partly led to their decision.  Part of the Northbound M3 motorway carriage was closed yesterday.  Firefighters were called to the scene where two reindeer and a sleigh had overturned in their trailer on their way to another local display.  Bet they wished they’d got their seatbelt now!  (For the animal lovers amongst us apparently the reindeer were fine and weren’t hurt at all)

And finally…

My horoscopes have informed me that as one door closes, another opens, that my soulmate will be arriving shortly, that I will learn new work skills and destiny plans a meeting in a supermarket.  So, if I’ve got it right then I will lose my job, get a new one in the local Tesco and probably have an affair with my new boss!  Great.  Something to look forward to for this week then!

Trying a new thing.

A lot of blogs seem to have some sort of regular feature, whether it’s something like a Wordless Wednesday, blog reviews or a agony aunt slot.  I quite enjoy these and thought I’d give it a go myself.

So, my regular feature will be ‘Sunday Supplement’, a round up of more exciting bits of ‘news’ in the Sunday papers. 

A while back, I wrote about one of my Sunday rituals: my tabloid education.  I love getting the papers on a Sunday, not for the main news (there’s BBC24 for that!) but for the small stories down the sides, the celebrity gossip and just the pure trash factor.  There’s some great stuff in there, not much of it useful but I love it all the same and you never know, we might all learn something!

So we’ll give it a go and see what happens.  See you tomorrow!